1. |
The Thesis
02:36
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From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
The message on the pavement forms the fences that I jump
I got touched by a desire for God to ignite a change
Caught a rush of zeal from the life in my veins
This was written with two toothpicks in wet cement
This new script is a blueprint for all the tall tenements
I got told, "cut the music, dude," and “simply let it vent”
Little did they know, though, I'm the Rubik's Cube President
So, represent!
It’s evident the more you give to Jehovah: the bigger the gain
So, go figure my aim should be to trigger the brain like any singer in pain
Yet my life ain't nothin' but sunshine - no dumb punchline
I run by, thus my Love sighs, I must fly come crunch-time
As I rode along I told my God, "here I am, send me!"
"I can break the chains of fear of man and get set free!"
See, I’ll walk the longest road, talk the strongest code, flock with honest folk
Spot the blossoms’ growth, God had brought this ode
He taught us to dodge the odd pothole and block a bomb thrown
Sought to watch for lost souls, trot atop hot coals
I know that God knows, he saw those who got gold
And I got platinum without a song sold
No mistake, this mixtape did bake for ten years
This lengthy tenure was spent here like the six days
Creatin’ sick waves ‘till my wrist ached and the pen seared the notebook
And with that said dear, if kids praise, “oh look, you did great…”
Well, it’d all be worth it
But I’m uncertain and nervous
And hey, before we learn, the page of the story turns
Will the rage and blame and pain make any glory earned?
Well, what a sorry nerd
Please ignore these words…
But listen:
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
The message on the pavement forms the fences that I jump
I got touched by a desire to ensure what’s golden glows
I promise I'll smile, even when the cold wind blows
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2. |
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But look!
A purple sky (a purple sky)
An orange moon (an orange moon)
Days of future past present what I was soarin’ through
Nostalgia hits walkin’ further down the dusty, dirty road
Murmurs drown the brain - must be thirty fold
All I wanted from the day was to pick apart the pieces
Put 'em together my way 'til the beat of the heart ceases
Extinguish the fires that lit these wild woods
Glean scraps of laughter to relive my childhood
I walked to the pier
Searched for shells in sheer commotion
Insert shells of life in my ear to hear the ocean
I need to hear the ocean
I need to hear the ocean
I steer my notions through my smeared emotions
We'd all go and hide from all the baseless shoving
We'd wallow and cry
We all hate this cussing
I'd follow your stride and I ain’t mistrusting
I'd swallow my pride but it tastes disgusting
Maybe I’ll catch fire
You can lay me in black attire
Let’s say we can acquire gas and blast wire
Baby, maybe I’ll catch fire
Save me from man’s desire
The purple was gone (it was gone)
Red eyes on orange horizons
Circles were drawn
Deaf mind pourin’ lies in
Not even sixteen, ruckus is the local chatter
Rock ripped jeans with fiends
Stuck up social ladders
Jumped fence to make sense of if God’s myth or fact
Dumped bunk beds to nod with the pack
Gave the blue sky true lies when I shouted to divinity
"You said I could count on you and I've counted to infinity"
My heart denies it
Somehow my brain knows
Cuttin’ down trees and all I see are cane toads
All I see are cane toads
All I see are cane toads
The pain grows until I find rainbows
My heart gently weeps
Shards mark every beat
There's no sparks left in me
Cheap scars kept me weak
Arcs carve plenty deep
The sharks charge lest we flee
Many large pesky beasts sent me in a dark, heavy sleep
Maybe I’ll catch fire
You can place me in a sad satire
My fate is to conspire for cash and sapphire
Crazy, maybe I’ll catch fire
It’s what the planet requires
Ha!
The sun rose
They dropped Agent Orange
Extraneous measures to ensure I paint the door hinge
It hangs off-balance like the pictures in my head
Slippin' off the sidewalk in the scriptures that I bled
Never made a date with Mary Jane or sipped the moon’s shine
Life made it very plain I’m a kid of a doomed kind
I may as well play hangman with my soul tonight, right?
Until the darkness erodes in the glow of the bright light
I see my father and friends
I see God’s open hand
I could no longer pretend I got hope in man
Am I able to carry on and keep free from old ways?
Not very strong, weak knees, goals stray on cold days
I’ve thought for some time, rolled every pair of dice
I saw the Son's signs
I know I could bear the fight
I got the sunshine
No toll can impair my life
I’m off to the front lines
I'll stroll right into paradise
Maybe I’ll catch fire
There’s a way we can match the choir
Let’s pray we can inspire dance and staff hires
Lately, maybe I’ll catch fire
You can extract all of the glass fibres
I climbed the mountain top
I swear from here I can see it all ‘til the countin’ stops
I see the future past
I see why heaven cries
I see why his Son said to forgive seventy-seven times
I need twice that… if not a lot more
This is the right path
Truths I shoulda fought for
So Father, I approach thee cause a pardon I’m needin'
Man's heart is receedin' since the Garden of Eden
How long, how long will I slide?
Now on a bitter ride to kill the vibe instilled inside
As the road winds I try to keep my head straight
Even in better times that head of mine is dead weight
Thus I pray to you, beggin' for forgiveness
Help me when my brain concludes I could never live this
Negative thoughts only keep me down when I tire
This war we wage always has some friendly fire
Ha, that's a funny term, kinda like "civil war"
Only so much less and oh so little more
Now I’ve lost all my breath, I gasp to stand firm
Still struggle to juggle and get past my last words
While they play the laugh track backwards
I always seem to act like I lack standards
Facts gathered that Satan’s soldiers claim the game is over
With rainy eyes I call on your name, Jehovah
Emergence from the alley as it seeps through my breath
'Cause I'm walking through the valley of the shadow of death
Sustain me; spare me from the world's time bomb
Forgive me of my sins and with that, I'm gone
Amen
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3. |
Real Names Be Proof
05:59
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"Just be yourself" is my straight-faced strict motto
Thus I make plain no stage name
I'm just Nick Rocco
With the flick of the wrist I jot notes as slick as I hit potholes
Let's switch quick 'n' change pace to dip in a ditch not oft known
I'm a white witless witness who wishes to spit hot flows!
What a cringe shock though - at least my chick thought so
I probably should of stuck to the strings
Which brings up a couple of things
Like yes, these ain't Kingdom Melodies
But fine rhymes and sweet beats don't mean I'm gonna sing some felonies
Yet they don't shrink from telling me
How rap ain't clever but crummy
And I get it, how could this ever not be funny?
Least I never wanted money
'Cause babe, we ain't seeing a cent
Between eating and rent my knees will be bent with a need to repent
'Cause if I speak to a friend and say I know guitar
They say "play me a song!"
You claim you rap
They say, "hey, your brain is gone"
So to cold and old crickets who don't like rap
Behold: y'all're acquitted
We don't bite back at critics
But might ask your soul:
Can I kick it?
I write drafts of intricate physics that define the delicate cycle I pride to ride
And listen, if I wish to spit like a slick whiz kid
Ripping sick kick-flips with riffs that hit quick like an elegant elephant rifle
Who cares?
It all felt a bit trifle
I die inside like I tried cyanide when fellas get spiteful with rude glares
But hold up - who just stepped in the place?
Writing rhymes like this kind without a second to waste?
Ripping the mic
Liftin' the night
Spitting despite not paid stacks
Straight facts
Laidback, living the life
Flavor of a spice rack
Cooler than an ice pack
It's like that, so tell me where the mic's at (where's it at?)
Sound is vibration
Rap's surrounding your nation
Even the renowned haven has been found and taken
In silence we mourn the ones who lost the battles
Shots rattled - dropped mantles got caught baffled
Music is a war zone with torn homes, all fighting for bones
It's why I write in morse code, in case the storm grows
I'm bored though
Score goals just to earn my keep
Thus words aren't hurting me
The fire burned the trees for certainty
Emergency!
Your turn to see the Affinity Drive when engaged
With no venom or rage the pen and the page will set the stage…
Yo
Yo, yo, yo
Wu-Tang is for the children
As a youngin thugging was in the new slang I was building
Of course I shed that once I got out the flytrap and caught the fire
But a bit before, I said that crime raps are not my desire
How many classic pop songs are about makin' love?
How many songs by the Beatles are about takin' drugs?
Every genre is packed with the things our God hates!
Whether rock, pop, punk, funk, a blues groove or Broadway
So do we give up since every genre has toxic fungus?
No, of course not, you got to let the conscience be the compass
But it's bupkis to lump this whole genre as the Devil's music
Give me some minutes and maybe you'll get used to it
Or table the choice and label it noise
But this is Bob Dylan to me
So you got to stop killin' the awesome feelin' we see
In paradise I'll meet Eyedea, DOOM, Phife and Guru
With no worldly influences we can write some new tunes
I'll learn to play the guitar again
Take part in art with friends
Then brave hearts will make scars mend
But that's hard when we ain't there yet
So before despair sets I glare ahead with my semi-suitable two eyes
To view the beautiful blue sky
A vivid way to remind me what a fine life we're living
We see signs, shine light, read lines of divine might
Remember: one crown won from the Roman lashes
The contender's come 'round but found no hope in badges
We stroll the longest road and have broken binding ties
We hold the strongest code and say "nope" to blinding lies
It's the sign of the times
And the shine in the prize in the eyes and the mind
That the blind will never find
With a soldier's composure we fight for Jehovah
Praying fervently because the nights almost over
The words don't fit the pictures and make the frames burst
It's the way the flame works - make sure you aim first
Least that's what I was told was gold
I like to write metaphors
And typically they just meddle more than they settle scores
Time slipped
I've gripped so tight this pitchfork I got sore thumbs
And in this war I'll never have what I wished for
But I found more crumbs
And in this gameshow my name ain't known
But I scored love
I lay low makin' shapes in playdough to form war drums to warn one
Never had the blue blood and live by the will of scripture
But I'm spitting 'til my lips hurt just to kill a hipster
I love Hip Hop
Now how romantic is that?
The broken antics of rap
Perhaps what I lack is made up by fast attacks on the wax?
How many words rhyme with "love"?
They all seem forced
How long 'till my time is done?
I struggle to keep course
Follow the leader on the racetrack
Find the needle in a haystack
We break backs and pay tax 'til the episode fades to black
Ever since my birth 'till the day that the Kingdom reigns
I wonder where that flood is, hey, bring the rain!
"Another verse?"
"How long will this song last?"
"You tryin' to do an original psalm for the Broadcast?"
Get off that, you wombat!
I feel no shame for the truth
I'm tryin' to preach on beats and heal pain from my youth
'Cause you can't, you won't, you don't stop
'Till we prove that evil came to lose and if people blame the tunes
We'll change the groove 'till we get those steel chains removed
Real names be proof
What!?
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4. |
Raindrops in a Hurricane
04:34
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Sometimes (sometimes) I sit and pray for rainbows
Dumb mind lost in the place where the strain grows
Brain froze
Wheezin' to say "it ain't so"
Even came close to strayin' from the paved road
I'm caught in streamed replays of the same shows
All I ever wanted was to stay home and gain hope
I can't get no satisfaction when I play notes
Wait for the day the techno fascist fashion became broke
So I can take hold this retro passive passion
And the faint glow of a "let's go!" plan of action
I wrote a prose to expose the massive cached sins
And maybe just ask, "what happened?"
'Cause when the sun's gone
(When the sun's gone)
You can see the chalk outline lyin' on my front lawn
There's a tombstone whose home is in my backyard
Below a telescope honed right at the last star
Mom had heart
But role models changed
Bad scars emerge for every whole bottle drained
The family tree was badly beat and torn violently
And that day something died inside of me
I wore a gas mask since birth
What's it worth?
Why'd the risks hurt?
Didn't the fix work?
I felt the flame
I saw it churn and spark
I dealt the pain
It pelts my brain and burns my heart
So many minor things in my past make me melt with shame
But everything is everything - it's even spelt the same
Everything is everything - it's even spelt the same
Everything is everything
Hey, let's take it back to the pencil and paper days
A safer age where shaving was the sole use for razor blades (a change of pace)
Ricky and Lucy slept in separate beds
The further back we go the better it gets
Back when apathy was immune to the gravity latched to me
Now there's no fruit and I won't chew an apple tree (what a tragedy)
Look at me Dad, I'm so much like you
Good and the bad, but you let the sun shine through
I'm sorry for the nameplates that burnt your namesake
You and the dogs ate from the same plate (my shame's great)
I've outgrown the old but I walk down the road
Roam the zone
Ditched schoolyard kids for a crown of gold
I knew the call of duty but lost my angel's halo
So many stupid scapegoats - too painful to say, "no"
I met vanity haphazardly in middle school
A wishful fool
Thinkin' no effect would ripple pools
Tried escaping the pain at home by going backwards
But I never was brave enough to end up chokin' on my last words
Hated the poison
Loved the taste
Every attempt to go up in the world was a waste
It took many years to fully climb back down
At least I finally feel like I'm on track now
Funny... my conscience always thought it was odd
I never knew my arms were too short to box with God
So, instead of holding on to a doubt-drenched plan
I grabbed Jehovah's out-stretched hand
I love it when the snow falls
Lands amongst the roll calls
Rests upon the stone walls
The ones that grow tall to guard our self-esteem
To tear it down doesn't mean you have to sell the dream
I love it when the rain falls
Floods the main halls so the memoirs can't contain all…
All the passion spent and all the tears dropped
When the laughing wept and when the fear stopped
I know Jehovah's behind me
I can feel the Holy Spirit
Even though he's so high, when he calls the lowly hear it
I'm tired of brawling with the American Uncle's sins
I'm tired of crawling through this embarrassin' jungle gym
So, forget the present and forget the past
Forget the lies that bind the mind and forget the trash (forget it!)
Forget pride, picket signs and dead presidents (forget it!)
Forget snide wicked lines that spread negligence (forget it!)
Forget this ghastly system and purebred thugs
Jah, just pass me wisdom so I can cure bed bugs
I'm a sharpshooter, yeah, I'm a deadeye
Will dark humour rectify the large tumour my head hides? (nah!)
Then all odds stack up as I circle past zero
When false gods gallop I'll be a working class hero
It's a wild world and it stole your light
Stop actin' like a child girl
You know what's right! (you know!)
Give me a reason for why I glow so bright
Give me a reason
And I'mma be alright
And you're gonna be alright
You ain't gotta hold my hand
Just walk with me tonight
And I'mma be alright
And you're gonna be alright
You ain't gotta hold my hand
Just walk with me tonight
And I'mma be alright
And you're gonna be alright
You ain't gotta hold my hand
Just walk with me tonight
I'mma be alright
I know I'll be okay
Maybe you'll be okay one day too
I watched it all pass by as the cold wind blew
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5. |
Women and Children First
05:39
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(Many hurt mentally)
It's a 21st century rash
WE CRASH!
Remember the clash?
The bold strain cold vein drains the December rain splash
The time to take back what's lost has come and gone so run along
IT'S STRUNG ON COSTS!
(We all sung the song of guns and gods)
Intakin' the lemon juice since the venom boosts the veins
Re-route the brain to now include the pain and lose the strains of sane
BUT WHO'S TO BLAME?!?
Fingers painting pictures point silently
They linger, they're stingers
Quick, erase the scriptures and big words
(Dive and hide the keys)
KIDS, TRY AND FLEE!
This is more productive!
Scores of violet beams construct the beat for the violent seeds whom must crush those who try to breathe
AY, LONG LIVE LIKE KINGS!
(We never miss the wrong right thing)
Glidin' on white wings with no logos
DON'T GO!
I'm shook
(This song might sting)
This ain't no city of the future, it's as present as it's ever been
For every lesser sin there's a clever grin
LET US IN
Everything
Everything in it's right place
Everything
Everything in its right place
How many angles must bust and break before a souls first craving?
(Not many)
How many angels does it take to find a soul worth saving?
(Now ready)
The future ain't what it used to be
Very few agree but the movie scenes drew our dreams beautifully
If only you could see the concept of "loser" ain't nothin' new to me (true indeed)
You can't take five paces with tied laces, you fall down
FACE FIRST!
Then the king of space and land brings his grace in hand but he got on a small crown
VASE BURSTS!
You're unimpressed
(Time escapes)
The clock's heart has broken hands
The rock star is chokin' fans that change shirts
(Our lives are caged)
Dying isn't a feasible option
Keep me boxed in with those who hope in man
I woke up from my haunting dreams taunting screams only to find I was never asleep
Try to pry my doubt from dried eyes but the lies spout and sprout 'till the rental date
And I hear "let us in" from those outside the temple gates
The resulting actions coincide with our mental states
I wrote a poem for nine planets and only got seven replies
MY MIND PANICKED!
"Where's my heavenly ties?"
Now, I reckon I'd find frantic the crime of a blind bandit who left the time stranded
Not to mention if the grind got her manic
With that fact as granite, I granted my eyes to glance at replies
They told me Pluto is no longer a planet
They revoked its voice
Denote the poise, who really rewrote its choice?
I KNOW IT'S YOU
Earth made that decision and ignored my poem too
But they show honor to gadgets!
(So, it's true)
You tell the Father to catch sins as you dance with the daughters of madness
If anyone snuck backstage they'd find from the past age to the last page you never raised the gas gauge
(But love is a battlefield)
Yes, apparently so
Thus that'll heal the black plague and numbness we keep inheriting, no?
So we can live burden free, work with glee, learn the seas and earn degrees with impassioned zeal?
It takes more than mass appeal, a pre-meditated catchphrase and a medicated cast leg to bless tough surroundings
Inspiration stems from stress and love compounding
And it lets us dream on like a sweet song
That one day we'll save lost flocks and see the war-scene in our nest be gone
If the great cost drops and we could pay off cops would we keep strong?
Does it seem wrong?
Is the story far-fetched?
It's why my glory scars bled with pores burstin'
But one thing's for certain: we always respond to the call of your curtain
Oh, and I need dawn
I go to bed late, yes, but when I sit in bed I live in debt to absurd realities that resent and tempt fate
Like I swear I heard balance scream...
“LET'S WAIT AND SEE HOW A MAN FEELS WHEN HE MENSTRUATES!"
Perhaps you've earned the calloused plea through your worthless words and shallow foul deeds
Pitchfork 'n' torch tactics burn the church's fallacies
EVERYONE PANICKED!
Be merciful and salvage me
It's a beautiful dream
(But it's nothing but a dream)
A scrutable scheme to keep people glued to the screen
So whose world is this?
Soon, A.I.'s
Do you feel that haughtiness in the air, in the grey skies?
The one that makes us so certain our talents gleam
What if the docs dropped a report before the board and swore to disordered courts we had terminal calloused genes?
How would we react to these acts?
Cold corporates closed curtains on gallant deeds
Their right of way may bury our rights to stay
Now night 'n' day we carry burdens on balance beams
Work a ten hour day then jet, set to trek home
Let the tech make us vanish in virtual realities
And every space ship that makes trips only found blackness in the searchable galaxies
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6. |
Clair Huxtable
03:33
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Hey there girl (hey!)
You must need some company (sure)
Come and jump with glee
I can be your cup of tea (okay)
I just turned eighteen yet I ain't seen a girl like you (yeah right)
"Hate the bait, wait to date"
Yet it's what I might do
Feel free to place bets, that'll seal these strained steps
Err, well, maybe let's wait' y'know, get a rain check (what?)
So, without a shrug I'm out of love like the Shadrach rap track
But I got the last laugh 'cause I don't need no girl, yeah, scratch that (whatever you say...)
If only I believed that statement
Some days patience don't make sense so I take ten from chasin' hens
I sit in cellars flippin' scripts wishin' I could split and tell her
This dame's so tame with those hips like Cinderella's (excuse me?)
Um, that's not my openin' line
I was hopin' in time I could get to knowin' your mind
Thus I'm showin' my spine
It was awkward… (yeah) but I got word you didn't care
Now I'm sittin' there givin' stares tryin' to pick a chair
It's just… (just what?)
The one I got ain't workin' out
I can see my friends squirm with doubt
They see me with an uneasy look and I heard 'em shout (what are you doing?)
I still talk it down and walk around without clues!
But enough about me
Let's here some more about you, girl (well...)
Tell me that story of yours
The glory of wars you won
I'll get the evidence that cements this precipice as true love
I know it's a lot to show but we can let our thoughts grow
Actually, you know what girl, I gotta go (seriously!?)
Where's the emergency exit?
She ain't a bird to be messed with
I don't wanna hurt or depress chicks
Just it were to seem desperate
My thoughts are sporadic
No longer mathematic
Them girls got that black magic rabbit-in-a-hat trick and they said I can't have it
It's madness
I do backflips
Now my brain's a mess and they know it
Plus I'm a poet and anything but stoic
I'm a loser, baby
The jazz and blues made me
The colors and hues paint scenes and lately I'm tryin' to choose a lady
Some days my dumb ways make me reel and grown
More often than not I feel alone (this is just sad)
Here I am again
Repeatin' the cycle
I must seem like a psycho who's in "seekin' a wife" mode (yeah, kinda)
A mission that'll bruise moods that I'm doomed to lose
It's all proven true
Am I in the bloom of youth? (yes)
And she's on a mission for a man who'll listen to the plan
But she won't fall for any glisten in a pan
Fair enough
I hope I'm squarin' up with that tone
From now on I'll leave my personal demons at home
She says, "get your act together, you've got a life to give
Forget a wife and kids, go earn your right to live,"
And now - just now - I can hear the drummer
She's so ugly but I'm so in love with her
I love that drum beat like a fat kid loves lunch meats
And that's it - I don't need a girl to love me
(Wow, it sounds like he's actually made emotional progress)
I don't
(Wow!)
But will you smile, girl? (oh no, nevermind)
Will you light up my world?
Yeah, c'mon girl (oh yeah, this has gone back to sad again)
C'mon girl
I can be your cup of tea
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7. |
Amidst the Zeitgeist
03:37
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You can bet we got a scapegoat, so take note
Now, who filled these pot holes with these hot coals?
It's the tattoos
The bad news
The fast food
The gas fumes
The devil made me do it so I sing a sad tune
It's the apathy
The tragedy
The vanity
The man in me
The devil made me do it, it's a part of his strategy
It's dead-again Christians
It's the chapel's lies
The medicine prescriptions and the apple pies
The healthcare system
Lazin' in recliner chairs
Bein' a welfare victim while cravin' designer wear
It's gettin' caught often gazin' at forbidden fruit
Siftin' through toxic waste dumps for dumb "hidden truths"
It's the podcasts
Porn sites
Laws passed
Scorned sights
What God asks vs. your rights
Long chats on warm nights
My nights consist of two toothpicks in eyelids
Tuned in, transcribin' the blueprints of violence
It's slapstick
It's classic
It defines the music
It's the magic and we had it and I'm dyin' to use it
It's the static in the attic and a flyin' broomstick
It's the antics in the fabric with divine acoustics
They serve as the backdrop to the perfect pipe dream
It's dirt and crack rock that we serve with ice cream
Diluted light beams make life seem like a slow dance
But there's no romance and we have absolutely no chance
Of makin' the finite infinite
The skylight inhibits
Making the brain think and makin' the eyesight intricate
Yes, I'm a skeptic of ethics
I've kept medics breathless
He said it's a deathwish
Let it rest, I get it Hendrix
Castles made of sand?
Well I beg to differ
I'm an expert of life holdin' on to these kegs of liquor
So stop, pause for the cat scan
It seems Batman the problem is you were just dealt a bad hand
So go on vigilante you can try to kill the ante
But keep that mask on 'cause your face is filled with acne
We say "you can't catch me" but looks like God has
And this ain't just the odd class where we might not pass
This is life
This is life in a paradise
But that's what happens when we play like we don't care the price
You can bet we got a scapegoat, so take note
Now, who filled these pot holes with these hot coals?
Yeah, you know we got a scapegoat, take note
What's up with the hot coals in the pot holes, huh?
I'm missing my friends
They're twisting what's penned
No fixing
No mends
All risking their sense
I say raps as placemats for lost dogs and stray cats
I pray that you'll embrace facts of God's laws and make your way back
You once tried to earn stripes
Ain't it our God-given birthright to burn bright?
To work night and day for our faith and fellowships?
And the architects who place every single yellow brick?
So why leave this speech and jump in the deep-end?
We'd preach mid-week
Now you're drunk on the weekend
I know you're unique
Just like everyone else
But why look everywhere but up if you want to better yourself?
We ain't gonna repent except on our own accord
We have to grow for ourselves and fight our own wars
We can't blame anyone but us, no one
Though some go run and some grow numb we know what
Consume the rations we find
Can't keep our actions in line
Left God's compassion behind
What happened to our lives?
And what's to become of the way we live?
Change it
The door is wide open
Please come back home
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8. |
Bonafide Party Song
04:01
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Whose dope prose flows coast to coast and sparks a match?
Showin' known old pros that boast the most the art of rap
If the czar is back to start from scratch and scar the craft
Go stow foes, clones 'n' posers close and don't toast the host or bark at cats
Who froze the hope of mopes who starved for scraps?
Molten tones slow roast rodents whole
Broken bones'll char to ash
Those prone to roam the zone he own get heart attacks sharp and fast
No part'll last
No pardoned brats
Garbage cans for bargain trash
Satisfied?
'Cause anyone can play guitar
And I'm tired of the way we are
I used to say that, "if I find mics I shine bright
Then when the time's right I'll step into the limelight to crime fight"
I can still rhyme like lickety-split
Spit wickedly quick like shiftin' the stick into sixth
Is Nick atypically sick with this gift?
Rippin' swift gritty riffs so hippity-hip
But hey, any fool can rap faster and badder than me
Or grab a masters degree in smashin' the beat fashionably
Who's a true rapper indeed?
Do you have to be crashin' the scene, rancid and mean?
Batterin' and hammerin' MC's no matter or manner the means?
It's a passionate plea
It happened to be I let my day dream pass
It may seem sad but mainstream rap had made me mad
The game seemed whack when fake 'n' lame teens spat
Had to break free fast
Can't change these facts
Lost the rook in a comic book ray-beam trap
Paused and took an honest look at my whole motivation
I'd grown so impatient of hatin' those who sold their soul to Satan
Let the record show sex 'n' hoes, Tec's 'n' clothes, cheques 'n' blow
Get the most clicks 'n' views
But I wanna get it known Hip Hop's among the most beautiful music one could ever listen to
So if chicks and dudes give mixed reviews of a whole genre
No drama
It's fair play
The airwaves share space with thugs that load glock clips and scrubs that quote stock tips
And me?
Oh sweet, another freak indie rap backpacker set
Too weak to snap a whack rapper's neck and too cheap to at last cash a fatter cheque
I'm a vocalist coated with hopelessness
Holdin' this the mic tight with broken fists
Sole motive to coexist
Aiyyo, I'm the type actively battling hype's vanity
Rattling lifes path for me
Baffling strife's apathy
Standing despite gravity
Brandishing might radically
That's the thing, write frantically
Ask my wife, she'll happily bat for me
My sanity is latched to these rabid rap fantasies
And that's a travesty
So does a song like this make me a big deal?
Or am I the slop that gets tossed in a pig's meal?
Talk to me, is this humble or haughty?
If I stumble off beat, tumble with lost sheep or crumble don't drop me
Is it chorus time?
I'll form a line of boring rhymes to warm the mind
Now, I probably shouldn't have said my name in the third person
That's for certain the worst version of tryin' to sound dope through proud boasts
So is this a poorly rehearsed sermon or a clown's joke?
I won't brownnose the townsfolk or drown hope
Although I now know tryin' to MC with true humility is doomed futility
So why do it?
This music
This music is a verbal therapy chair
Apparently I can't bear to breathe without it there
Too often I'm sober and sociable but talkin' as if overemotional
I want to jot something quotable
Though that's not how closure's supposed to go
Tryin' to be a man, save a nest egg and evade the best laid's that change team's scoreboards
Bravely he board shore of a brain beat 'n' war-torn
Seen my inner screenplays splinter each day
Now became sleek and straightforward
And they say teenage dreams fade
When I reflected on deep pain and the bleak way my perspective was bleedin'
I found life sounds right but rarely goes how I expected it
It's electric and seems to leave scenes heated
It even exceedin' my best wish
Thus at day break take spray paint and ink pens
But the scariest feeling is pondering what they'll think then
I'm not sure if I can carry this ceiling
Whether I faced a crowd's claps or a soundtrack of loud laughs
I'd fall into the mouse trap with the sceptics of motives simply rejectin' the notions
Here I was, expectin' to grown into it
I got eager to rock the 'phone 'till my mind caught fever and I bought shot speakers
I've quit the hypocrite skit of Bob Seger
So I'll be the mocked preacher
Off to trot with distraught lost leaders, spot stealers and the Apostle Peter
Not a dollar to my name
Not a scholar in the game
No taller than my shame
The fault is in my aim
So I know I'm crazy to followthrough
But baby, all I wanna do is put the "art" in artist
The heart in the heartless
The dart in the target and the spark in the darkness
So don't throw your hands in the air
But if you smile back, there's a chance that I'll care
|
||||
9. |
It Was Written
03:49
|
|||
A snare and a racket
Unbearable badness
They wear the jackets in an arrogant fashion
They eat the weak and fleece the sheep
Cease the feast
Jah, defeat the beast
Keep note, these angels have broken wings
And that's just one of the oh so many unspoken things
The beast is in your midst with slits on his wrist
Bleeds faith 'till it don't exist - now kiss his fist
Priests change shape
The sheep they date raped
They're creeps and great apes
They preach to save face
The flock's in a comatose state
They don’t own your faith
So sober souls shape to place hope in both names
It’s zero dark thirty
The heroes aren’t early
They’re too late
The due date for doomsday was shoe-laced
What must we do to swim, sever lips and limbs?
But even then can't say we'll never slip or sin
Hollow costs paid by those who tote the nations
All the holocausts shed true motivations
We follow fraught men in the middle of the mix
We all lost when we coveted a little of the fix
Cold chills spill from the tongues spewing lies
We try to view the sky but very few will find
The answers to all the questions under the sun
And if we wondered too hard, well, another would come
And another would come
And another would come
And another would come
And another
And another
And another
And another
And another...
Private eyes tried to establish biases
We’d been climatized to true madness through wild riots and savage violence
No one managed to keep quiet
Gouge blind eyes
Bandage eyelids
Despite what transpires, this is the tragedy:
We had to see the gravity of bein' Adam's seed
But no; blank stares, shoulder shrugs and apathy
Now it's blasphemy to sober up from fantasy
The smart man decreed an end to religion and division
The problem?
Every single thing is a religion
Thus division won’t decrease in the least
The internet's our holy book
The celebrity our priest
Circus clowns run circles ‘round the fire pit
Cynical liar’s spit drown hardwired kids
Since the fattened blackbird was captured
Plastered actors have been factors in our standards
Protestors’ fists shake ‘till their hands hurt
It’s as effective as playin’ bad words backwards
Let cash burn observed by crowds of passive grins
Who can stand firm surrounded by captive kin?
It’s crashin’ in
Massive sins leave us battered at dusk
Ashes and rust pass throught the dust
Plastic limbs snap
Static skin buzzes
The battles of whims within budges no man
Now how could the whole fam ever hold hands?
Are promised expressions gone with the dead men?
The accomplice was leaven
But God isn’t deafened
So with North American states of mind
We can grab on to fate
Find a nice place to die or wait ‘till the fall of Babylon the Great
But the sacred's undone
Take it in blood, son - run!
Don't stop 'till the Ancient has come
Pray for His love
Proclaim no more dead ones
The shape of the sun looms overhead - run!
The sacred's undone
Take it in blood, son - run!
Don't stop 'till the Ancient has come
Pray for His love
Proclaim no more dead ones
The shape of the sun looms overhead - run!
Run!
|
||||
10. |
Good Morning, Vancouver
01:59
|
|||
It looks like it's gon' rain again
And I ain't complainin', friend
It came and went five times 'fore the day was spent
So let it pour away
Who needs the sun's gorgeous rays?
I'm busy savin' cents to pay the rent so I can afford to stay
Got a one bedroom box that I slave away for
Maybe I can get new socks if I save up way more and refrain from remainin' poor
And avoid brand names and chain stores
Man, the stress can test the heartbeat
You can't even hardly park free
The meter charge fees harshly
But I gotta admit the art speaks smartly
From the large trees to the dim light at midnight in dark streets
I'm even told the stars sleep above a smoggy sky
The sun beams got me wry
Thawin' my groggy eyes
I thought I'd walk but forgot my fob and my lobby's locked
A man I often spot softly talks, "got change, please, man?"
Yeah, he wants free pot
God save the Queen fast from snobby moms in coffee shops
The blonde gave a mean glance to the cashier before she snapped like a hockey shot
I'm glad I clean glass even if people stop and watch with lots of obnoxious gawks
I see past the greased handprints and glimpse green grass and the mountain's rocky tops
It cannot be topped
But to be honest I'm probably off to Edmonton when it's all said and done
We went from being nickel and dime'd
To being ripped from our vines with a sickle and knife
I gotta get what I'm missin' from life
Make the plan smoother
It's not simple or nice
But it looks like the right maneuver
So, goodnight, Vancouver
|
||||
11. |
What Makes a Man?
05:22
|
|||
For your consideration:
When will people tire of my treacle pyre rhymes?
When will they bust the bluffs and snuff the gleeful fire in my eyes?
Been known no end-zone will contain these flows laced in soul
Let's trot atop rattling step ladders and drop the radio
Then ask, "who scattered messed matter?
Who blew the flames?"
Probably some grammatically-correct rapper who never grew a brain
Or maybe I'm too insane but lookin' back I shouldn't ask, "who's to blame?"
Claim full responsibility for all the times I failed to act with God's agility
Got too many thoughts killing me
When life ain't been half as dramatic as the songs say
Ain't been stabbed or attacked with blades
But react the wrong way after laughter of a long day
Retract the fact
The back has been stabbed but never fatally
I was made to bleed ever patiently
Melodrama again
But melt the commas I spend
It's all in my head when falling in bed in a sheep sleep
Tell my momma I'm dead and weep heaps
How do I now drown when the water's knee deep?
Why do I grieve streets and let down sounds on these beats?
The questions I ask represent the mask I left in the past the last few years ago
When I died as a superhero and tried to choose the zeros and knew the fears flow
The losers here, yo
Yo, yo
Attempted to pen gems in a tent when my best friends slept near
Ten years I've kept them and the West End dear
Yet when men said "let's get beer", I declined
If my mind stays sober I may gain closure or composure
Besides, I'm permanently drunk
And it's my turn to get crunk
The time drains slower
Left my burdens in the trunk
Hence entrusted talents must crush balance and meddle with fate
A robust gallant's measuring tape won't settle for 'great'
It's why I ain't embarrassed to be paired with parrots
Can't be scared stiff if every square inch will bear this
Nor can I sit tight
I hitchhike
They think I wanna fist fight
The author was wrong
This night the popular songs fit right
So a big shout out to clenched fists on bent wrists
Tent pins in spent whims and melodies that mend limbs
And aforementioned questions that lack a sense of tension
Half of them are senseless
The past is dense with lessons
Here's one: do I wanna know if the feeling flows both ways?
Most days ghosts say, "keep the healing slow and hold fate"
I've retired from the ire as the vile looks beckon my sold grace
Remember when driving miles took seconds?
The show changed, the times of childhood legends grow haste
I feel out of place like a monkey in the arctic - unharnessed
I can't get funky in the darkness
Let the light glow great
Run free from the heartless at a bold pace
If your soul aches, contemplate, what goals make a man?
What goals make a man?
Yo
Why is the clown crying?
He tried to save the slaves from the flood and almost drowned trying
Too many he found dying
Saw his Ma wash away in the waves
And watches thoughts of mistakes make quakes in the graves
Hey, break a leg
Hobble to the set
Even the apostles bled
The insecurity is burning me fervently with awful threats
Battered arms and battle scar
Observe me lacking heart, ha
I claim I play the game of life to stay focused but wonder if they noticed
And I can't live up to the titles of the late poets
The problem is that though I'm talkin' to you with these rap flows that crash slow
I'm lost in the zoo
The only option I knew was to write like the night might strike with frights bite
Despite reassurance of a positive future where I might get to breathe
And I'm a positive man
But when I pause with my paws in the sand I gnaw on the cost of the plan in composite humor
I wish I saw it a bit sooner
I get on the mic and get negative and beg the sins to emerge for the limelight
And lie like it's all I live in but I can't stop spitting this rhythm and I don't know why
But I could die tonight and find it right
All I want to hear from the wide-eyed sidelines was a heartfelt, "oh my"
So then when the stars melt I can pelt, "no woman no cry"
Pathetic
And to me, the fact that love can cause the most harm is the worst crime
Even if the charm is in the third time
But tell that to those charged to live with cursed lives
Blurred lines hurt time so I doubt the odds
I could live in the house of God and feel ground and raw
Oh...
|
||||
12. |
||||
Hey...
I've had too much to think tonight
I'm sad
I'm touched
Oh, it's alright
I've had too much to think tonight
I'm sad
I'm touched
Oh, it's alright
Don't play maitre'd with me
Go take the adjacent seat you see
The brain seems to be in need of agency
Playin' "wait-and-see" to fill the vacancy
My birth was a mishap
I'm a kid of this craft
No curses or dis raps
Stick jabs in gift wrap
Came to make jokes in the lame hope the chicks laugh
So take notes and place votes
I'll just sit back
Write quips with ice picks so my lyrics might prick
Stick my spirit in a vice grip
Judges bite lips
Everyone and their dog can pen a rap song
Maybe I should focus more on why my head can't stand calm
I want a diagnosis
I want an excuse
I want to try and focus
I want to let loose
I want a prescription
I want a distraction
I want a revision
I want to quit laughin'
I just want control
Yeah, I just want control
I just want control
Yeah, I just want control
Dizzy, dazed and dazzled
I miss the age of rascals
I'd sift the sand of castles and drift to lands of battle
Edit the sad parts
Regretted the bad sparks
Who set it to that dark?
Indebted but have heart
Oh, if it could all be so simple
Spoke wishful
The hole in the soul ripples
Drew blueprints of doomed stints in gruesome detail
The clueless foolish pursuit of the elusive female
For every tooth loose there's a few screws to match
My whole body may collapse if moved soon, in fact
But hey, what's a new bruise but a notch in the belt?
Zoom to the newsroom and watch if they wanna help
Wash it off with a shot of a scotch to let the brain relax
"No, cut the obnoxious talk and state the facts"
I'm strapped to my bed
Bolts attached to my head
The Doc is tapping his pen and I'm laughing instead
He's frustrated, must hate it, but makes do
Takes two, I lay awake awaitin' the breakthrough
I've been chasin' the same truth since I was in grade school
This internal war of my enduring joy and shame's rule
I want a diagnosis
I want to try and focus
I want an excuse
Nah, I want to let loose
I want a prescription
I want a revision
I want a distraction
I just want to quit laughin'
I just want control
Yeah, I just want control
I just want control
Yeah, I just want control
I've had too much to think tonight
I'm sad
I'm touched
Oh, it's alright
I've had too much to think tonight
I'm sad
I'm touched
Oh, it's alright
Oh, it's alright
Oh, it's alright
Oh, it's alright
Oh, it's alright
Oh, it's alright
I've had too much to...
I've had..
Oh, it's alright
|
||||
13. |
Alina
03:40
|
|||
Oh Alina, do you know what you mean to me?
Oh Alina, you're the gold among the greenery
Oh Alina, you stole my heart like thievery
Oh Alina, your beau is what I need to be
You're hypnotic, with eyes fierce and a bold glow
You're honest and modest
You pierce my soul slow
You are the new star
Melodic
True art to optics
You are the logic that got caught in my thoughts quick
You're gracious
I'm jaded
You're blameless
I'm tainted
Can a raven can be sacred?
Abigail loved David
I recall I felt certain back when your thoughts stayed nervous
I'd call you perfect but you'd scoff and say, “worthless”
You know I too never felt serene beneath the surface
We both lacked self-esteem, to be earnest
I'm learning it don’t come easy, sweetie, but we’ll be free
And I held the dream seldom seen since that first kiss
Muriel, you’re my purpose and I love you
You keep the blood flowing through my circuits when I’m subdued
So now I whittle nerves and scribble a simple verse
You chisel my thistled quirks with a fistful of little words
I'm in love with the secret person of your pure heart
You keep the beat burning and seared a sure mark
So turn on the bright lights, baby
Let's live life like the Christ might save me
Oh Alina, do you know what you mean to me?
Oh Alina, you're the gold among the greenery
Oh Alina, you stole my heart like thievery
Oh Alina, your glow is what I need to breathe
Even the way you smile makes me a child
And the day you became my wife was the first day of my life
So bein' as in love with you as I am
Bein' as in love with you as I am
The timestamps fly past
I try to grasp 6 years have gone by fast
It's an established fact
When you're next to me I'm placed in a state of ecstasy
You'd best believe the chemistry is heavenly
Mentally, emotionally, I earnestly yearn for eternity together
Fervency forever
A life we'll actually see
You've already helped me reconnect my family tree
I can only imagine the scene when we live happily free
I'm sorry it took long for me to express my thoughts audibly
Besides God's sovereignty, you're all I want, honestly
It's a long odyssey
So darlin', take my hand
We'll make our stand and win the race at last
In a sound mind my heart was vowed and signed
And to this day I feel like I'm on cloud nine
You're Solomon's imperial splendor and material treasures
I love you Muriel, forever
Oh Alina, do you know what you mean to me?
Oh Alina, you're the gold among the greenery
Oh Alina, you stole my heart like thievery
So Alina, I hope you feel seen by me
Oh Alina, oh, oh Alina
Oh Alina, oh, oh Alina
Oh Alina, oh, oh Alina
Oh Alina, oh, oh
|
||||
14. |
Yearnings of the Wind
01:26
|
|||
One two, one two
I was yearning for the wind like it was Chrono Trigger
Let's grow no bigger and catch this in a glass
Though we grow old in slow-mo and chokehold vigor
Somehow it all happens in a flash
The tow truck shows up yanking lifelines
In the right mind might show love like I learned in my nest
“Forgive’ ‘n’ forget or forever live in regret”
Give respect
Earn respect
Work with the rest
The yearnings of the wind call time and time again
The burnings of the sins fall in line with the pen
The corridors of time collapse on the rhymes
The smorgasbord of lies will laugh at the mind
The orators lines have attached to my spine
When I find I'm fine trapped in time
I just want to be a good man off the platform
Is that too much to ask for?
Lost my passport
Name erased itself off the blackboard
Failed the crash course but killed greed
Build these love-filled schemes and still dream
One day I will win my war
One day I will win my war
One day
|
||||
15. |
||||
I used to use Hip Hop to show my pain
And I guess in some ways to know I'm sane
I've grown up today and I won't complain
Or claim I'm held above an open flame
And I don't hope in vain
But what will I write about when there's no more pain?
Nice sights and sounds?
The life around?
It psyches me out
I'm the type to strike the ground
The pain tells us that we weren't born numb
Though we feel worn and scorn our sore thumbs
Like, "how am I to use these to beat the war drum?"
But ain't it worth it for when the Lord comes?
So I don't write much these days
Blow off the mic's dust
Tight clutch to seem brave
The right touch might crush what makes dreams fade
But dreams fade…
I don't mean to repaint the scene grey
It's a bleak phrase for a weak phase
For one moment though can we please speak straight?
The world beats slaves
We heave and breathe pain
On our knees pray
Life's tough
We keep pace
Can't leave the race or deploy the speed-brakes
Even if we feel steel wheels shake the feet stay
Even if the weed's came we can feed a seed placed
Even in a heat wave we have free shade
Even if a sheep strays we can keep the team safe
We can behave
We can be great
They'll see the face gleam beams from deep space
That mean the dream seem as sweet as cheesecake
We preach each day and we always sleep late
Can't be a cheapskate or we'd never reap grain
The harvest's at a peak rate
People need a clean slate
Angels watch with popcorn
God warns, "please brace"
"You must go through a lot more, you need faith"
Let's say something real...
Yo
We choose shrewd and true phrases to use
Through slews of due praise to say something real
Before the lamb we humbly kneel
So even if we grew grey or abruptly keeled
If our fate remained to fade away to dust the fields
Who can complain to change the ways Jah justly deals?
He raised the new days and made the love we feel
The world worsens and he gave the work of prophets
And a certain promise to reverse the curse the people channel
The excursion's got us on the path reprieval travels
We're witnesses in a universal legal battle
To you the depths of deep shadow seem shallow
You've deemed hallow the plain and lame names but shamed scholars
You're the great potter
We'll take the offer
Jehovah, to you belong the glory, praise and honor
You remain our Father
Um, just one question, uh, faith, what is it?
A solid or a liquid?
Tell me what I'm missing and I promise I'll listen
It's a Hutu saving a Tutsi from genocide
It breathes life into a man that's dead inside
A purple triangle stitched to a martyr's chest
It consoles the soul of a heart depressed
It's facing the lions and bracing for violence
Not chasing the diamonds or waiting in silence
It's patient and vibrant
The shape of refinement
It makes us migrant in a change of assignment
Yo, it's alive and speaking but not blind or a feeling
Faith is not instilled through divine revealings
It knows signs and meaning and starts applying it
It's gained through the brain and heart of a scientist
Faith is the evidence of all that is hoped for
The assurance of what's behind the closed door
It may not know more
But sees the bigger picture
It brings the scriptures
C'mon, dig the mixture
Since faith is based on evidence vs. blind belief
We can change our frame of reference to find relief
In time our chief will redesign society
And we will actually become the people we try to be
For the young boy who wouldn't worship a nation
For the unjustly jailed who found a purpose in patience
For those trying to breathe through those sighs and heaves
Faith is why we believe
|
||||
16. |
The Keys of the Kingdom
02:33
|
|||
Now this was gonna be another bad dub on self-hate
But I felt great
Telling Earth that hell's safe
She said, “don't worry, they might go hurry to chase sights”
Old dirty slaves fight a whole thirty days and nights
And we know the game ain't played right but still the wind blows
So when I chill with kinfolk to kill the mis-quotes
I show them turntables just to watch them spin 'round
See, we lost on thin ground
Chin down
This crown fell from the kings into the hands of the peasants
The often broke common folk now dance with the essence
With the flames in our eyes we'll spark fireworks
So loud it scars tired jerks with hardwired smirks
I no longer feel like a deaf man in dead last
I left that
I kept fast dancing ‘till my neck snapped
Watch my head collapse
I chest-strapped a jetpack like, "can y'all hold it down ‘till I get back?"
I may be a while
Save me a smile and your best laughs
When we change the dial I’ll replace the pile of “get better soon” cards on tombstones with clipped rose petals
And consolation prizes with slick gold medals
Aim the missile
Take the chisel to the brick road’s yellow
Make crowns for kids who kick and throw pebbles
Change frowns
Clean streets ‘till there’s no conflicts
No rebels
Maybe take you by the hand to the place where the thick snow settles
There’s faith and love in each individual soul
They shape and change even our principal goals
If we can keep our spirits inspired with zeal
The fires we feel will blaze higher and heal
There’s faith and love in each individual soul
They shape and change even our principal goals
If we can keep our spirits inspired with zeal
The fires we feel will blaze higher and heal
There's faith and love...
Yeah, I wrote a lot of songs
But I was granted the freedom to sing them
When I was handed the keys to the kingdom
|
||||
17. |
Not All Roads Must End
02:45
|
|||
I always thought I'd face death with dignity at least
As what's left of the rest of my breath clings to these clefts I'd sleep with ease
Pressed against the chest of this big city
I'd be at peace
I slept 'till I leapt and set my eyes to see to a sea of the freed that will sing with me
What a thing to dream
I know God will bring us back soon enough
But on late nights I lay awake and face my gaze right to the moon above
I meditate on heaven's gates
Look down
Another's dust
Say prayers for a better day for the sake of every crushed mother's love
Their despair resonates but I contemplate I must have become numb
I mean, I see more and more seats are becoming empty as we're breaking bread
Although the courage can't be mustered up or found or bred to look straight ahead
Every single time it's a hefty swept scene that wrecks dreams
Yet I've somehow kept straight faced
And I've seen plenty that gently wept heaps
Maybe since the names in the book of life were never too close to me
The grim grisly grasp of the grave never gave me nightmares openly
Or I took the night and dim risky laughs simply as deep poetry
I do hope to see the dead rise and hear them speak vocally
But am I scared of caring totally while flesh can still fade to ashes?
At any moment anyone I know and love can be laid in a casket
I pray when it happens I don't remain in a state of passive
But embrace the hands of God and brace for the fate He granted
He'll erase the static change the fabric and crumble death
And although I'm not a jumbled mess
I deeply miss my Uncle Chess
But I'll see you soon
This reality is a fallacy
Not all who fall deep asleep must remain that way for eternity
Though the journey seems like merely searching dreams
It's a promise sealed with an oath of blood
Shown in love
True hope has come
Jehovah, please notice my Mum
And please keep in your memory if ever these faithful servants face death
By the results of their faiths tests they earned this great crest
But what if I never see the garden or the King's steeds marching?
What if my heart beat is hardened and I'm not freed or pardoned?
Father, if you can forgive me of all the burns of my wrongs
Please don't forget me or the words of my songs
|
||||
18. |
Isabella
03:24
|
|||
When I was young I fell off my loft bed
A metal shelf pierced my back
I thought I'd drop dead
Back badly bleeding
Black blood seeping
Mom's frantic screaming
Dad's hand cleaving
My heart rapidly beating and I hear you weeping
You cry, "I'm sorry for everything, believe me"
I did, Isabella
And I recall it clear
I've thought of your falling tears all these years
But it's my time to make amends
I wasn't the brother who loved to bug her or became a friend
I'm sorry our ideals clashed and sparked fights
On dark nights I think of you and Mom and our life
We never had a close relationship
But I understand why you feel I chose to chase the wind
Now our lives are the opposite
Split dreams and accomplishments
Yet I love you and miss you so much
Isabella, wait!
I miss the sweller phase before the thick cellar grates befell our place
They withheld our fate
Now we've gone our separate ways
It's the better days in which with this sis of mine I celebrate
A ring on a dog's collar - in this we felt her grace
A wish seldom made came true
But in our case very quick the relics break
Everything is everything
It's even spelt the same
To tell it plain it took our Uncle's death to get us in the same room
Under our breaths we hoped the other changed tunes
But we stayed true to clashed ideals and pride
The past is sealed inside the cracked wheels of time
Sometimes I feel I can't conceal my mind and fear I'll embark on a rather rash spiel in kind
But I got so nervous
I barely spoke
I didn't want to stir this
I got wary and croaked
What a joke
I'm as dumb as can be
I'm linguistic on the beats
Yet in life, I bit lips and run up the trees
Like the water switched quick to a hundred degrees
So I know this is all a bit rich comin' from me
I can't express any of this outside song form
I'm hoping this will pry open the strong door for a lot more communication
Yet had I stopped for some rumination maybe I would've reached out sooner
Can we speak about the future?
One day I'll leave Vancouver and that may decrease the physical gap
Either way can we at least attempt an atypical chat?
Without deep biblical facts or bleak cynical jabs
I want to get to know you
Frankly I have no clue what your life is like
And my wife is right - you're my only sister
So despite the fights and lonely blisters
It only seems correct that we reconnect
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19. |
Rowan
01:27
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Rowan
Even though I don’t see our mother
Do you consider me to be your brother?
It’s been, what, four or five years?
I fear I don’t recall the time clear
I love you
Although that must seem fake
I’d judge too
But know that I’d love to see your face
Am I just a cheap disgrace?
Look, life is complex
I hoped the right context might offset the disappointment
But there ain't no way to twist avoidance
It's nigh-comical how I let my own nerves conquer my logical choices
As the time pass they grow worse with the mass of the whole earth
It seems I've cast my own curse
Rowan, I’m sorry
Do you think I’m in a deranged cult?
Or at least a very strange adult?
Do you think I hate you and mom?
Does it even matter what I wanted to do in thought?
I didn’t make time to see you because of feeling ashamed
Without realizing I was sealing my fate
I’m sorry
I love you and I always will
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20. |
The Weight of the World
10:00
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With a right hook to the jaw life shook the see-saw
It’s alright
Look at me, Ma
Look at my accomplishments
I often wish my oculus saw you sit amongst the audience
And if I thought I caught a glimpse it got my confidence lost within
But I learnt and built upon the consequence when I hopped the fence
Then I dropped the lens and discovered:
I could see
The rain is gone
The sun blazes
Love changes
Best friends become strangers
As my mother and I would be
"Blood makes the blade holy"
That's what the dame told me as she scraped slowly across my spine
I thought the tightest grip might've slipped but she's drawn the line
And love makes the pain cozy
I learned that too
I heard bad news
I burned gas fumes
I served Dad clues
I worked back though my memory to remember these penalties
It ain’t our first rodeo
At this point, mentally, the worst knows my soul
So I go off to stroll slow and curse those that crow and won’t atone
Got to pose this though: how many roads must a man walk down?
I can’t talk now
It’s too dim and dreary, clearly
It sincerely turned out nothing like I had hoped
Some days it’s a fight
I can't cope
Life’s a bad joke and Jehovah can’t hear me
Until his hands steer me
So one could try to blame your sociopathic father who’d snort white lines
His insane ways made the day break never make it through your night time
And yet, go ahead girl and let your light shine
Unless, maybe there ain’t none
It’s why I write rhymes
I’m the same son with great love
It's just aimed up
So none could truly blame the past they came from
Sure, when you’ve never been moved, how do you move on?
But you’ve chased smoke signals for far too long and I believe that notion
Now your heart grew strong
Heels dug in so you can’t feel nothin’
Pretend you can delete the moments
But it seeps through, don’t it?
It’s what keeps me hoping
And he will wonder too when he's old enough, "where's the oldest one?"
But he ain't the one that has to start growing up
So throw it up to the sky and put it under the lens 'cause this ain't where my wondering ends
And ain't no color paint can cover the bends
Ever since the womb ‘till the day your slumber ends
I've pondered if I pass what my tomb will say, 'another slept?'"
Who’d eye the sorrow of when my mother wept?
Could that move you to pray?
The blues still play in a beautiful way
In these crucial days deep pain maim a weak brain
Mean I strain to stay focused and not let the fear grow
Became a man in ‘06 at eleven years old
Since then climbed from the lowest and the coldest to the highest and the finest
But time has proven to only depart from us and divide us
So I decided I should drag my baggage but I need a larger truck
Now, if you start me up
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
Striving for some better thoughts so I forever remember Mom
See, I’m a rolling stone
Mama, I’m a rolling stone
And I’m going home
You can tell Bella that I’m going home
'Cause I’m a rolling stone
Mom, I’m just a rolling stone
And I’m going home
Please let Rowan know that I’m going home
And so it goes
And so it goes
And so it goes
Listen
As a matriarch, my mother more than played the part
Regardless of circumstance she rose above the call of the worker ants
She may not believe it but this how I prove loyalty
Although the bruises foil me
She treated me like true royalty
These things I write
I write them because I miss you
And not a day goes by where I don't pray I'm with you
And still sometimes I find my mind is in conflict
I contradict logic with passion and get lost in the imagined fashion of a line of chronic fractions
Bare boned baritone is all that ensures my slumber
Until I'm stirred and disturbed by the thunder
Burdened to wonder "where's home?" and rupture comfort
I never stuck to the structure but punctured the bumper
This rug-burned love learned not to run with the numbers
I'm the son of a blunder but she decided to keep me
It's no surprise that they try to teach teens cause and effect
So it's not odd to expect betrayal will spawn a loss of respect
If we take the offer we get
Sign the terms
But refuse to honor the debt
Then the agreed upon penalties have to take place
Now, Jehovah's great grace lets us save face and change pace
So please drop the weapons and explain in plain honest expressions
'Cause here I am
Thinkin' of you on the bus
Sullen smirk
“New Slang”
Stomach hurts
Ran up the summit to plummet first
Again, what’s this worth?
Falling internally
Processing the whispers
Shared as earnest deeds
Your blessings all withered
You heard whispers too
Do you know my blisters grew?
If you saw every scrap
Every whimper my sister knew
I wanna see the score’s sum and a smile with teeth
The files are brief
May take a while to compile the grief
If candor truly stands for something
I thought you’d be back
What’s keeping you?
For every cheap laugh
There’s a glimmer of hope dying inside each month
I’m not bitter or broke but tired of lying to feed love
This scene seems dumb but you can’t be replaced
And when James Mercer sings your outline is retraced
I want to make you proud
But our standards differ
And don’t that make all the answers shiver
It’s not that simple and it’s not that complex
You aren’t crippled but nonetheless the conquest
Your hunger pangs made you the hunter’s aim
And so passes another day
And a day becomes a decade
Perhaps things will never get set straight
Yet let's go through the cycle one last time
I’mma keep on polishing ‘till all the busted hubcaps shine
Or the smug grins come back crying
Jah, just give me the ability to stand behind my ideals
And a mind that yields
Before I hit the pavement hard
Lock my statements in the basement in a mason jar as I take it far
Farther than necessary?
Maybe, but check this:
I wear my scars like a fresh necklace
A symbol of remembrance, pride and good fashion
Thus my temperance resides with understood passion
Caught a glimpse of a stiff lip adrift as you crowd surfed off a cliff
Cross ‘get lost’ off the list
The checklist is getting shorter and shorter these days
How about the orders He made?
You locked them in that important briefcase with the rebates and keepsakes
Well, wherever you go, be safe
But watch out!
Knives don’t have your back
Nonetheless be gone
Our lives will travel paths all day
Someone get me out to this dimly lit hallway
‘Cause love changes
Best friends become strangers
The West End’s in danger
The rest set their wagers and you say, “let’s get the paper blowing in the wind burning”
Me?
I’d rather give the world away
I’d rather give the world away
You hear me?
I’d rather give the world away
I’d rather give the world away
I’d rather...
Jonathan Richman bemoaned the magical eyes
I have a rational mind and know all about the capital crimes
But my mum once was my national pride
Despite being a fallible guy and all my tangible ties
I had to cancel the line
But listen:
I'd rather give the world away
I stand in the valley with these gold statues
Built in honor of warriors with these bold tattoos
All I got is a pair of jeans and these old black shoes
And a shirt so thin it lets all of the cold pass through
I advance down the line 'till I see the temple gates
An entire lifetime trying to free my mental state
In this mysterious land is its grand climax
From the cradle to the grave
My hands I grasp
I've waited so long
Now I'm so close I can't talk
I've always wondered how many roads a must a man walk
And since the womb I've wanted to cure my mothers tears
It seems like the journeys done after a hundred years
I walk up the steps
The stairway to the mountain top
As the altitude climbs, the air breaks, the counting stops
The water of the fountain drops
The scene is serene
As I enter into the most holy place of my dreams
Reality grabs me and pulls me straight to the ground
Unable to move from the shock
I wait for the sound
My butterfly net full of dreams then gets snapped in half
I start to rise to my feet while the monsters laugh and laugh
Holy spirit fuels me
Scriptures inspire me
Enabling me to see clearly and paint the pictures entirely
I know what makes a man
Being able to break the band
Take off the chains of fear of death and take God's hand
And walk with him
Straight down the longest road
And the further he walks, well, the larger God's promise grows
These are what dreams are made of in a pressure filled mind
Inscribing the message on the street when pleasures steals lives
Build up the fences to divide the sides and tile the floor
And in the end all I really want to do is smile some more
There’s faith and love in each individual soul
They shape and change even our principal goals
If we can keep our spirits inspired with zeal
The fires we feel will blaze higher and heal
Head
Pressure
Senses
Clutch
Message
Pavement
Fences
Jump
Touched
Desire
God
Change
Rush
Zeal
Life
Veins
Head
Pressure
Senses
Clutch
Message
Pavement
Fences
Jump
Touched
Desire
God
Change
Rush
Zeal
Life
Veins
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
The message on the pavement forms the fences that I jump
I got touched by a desire for God to ignite a change
Caught a rush of zeal from the life in my veins
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
The message on the pavement forms the fences that I jump
I got touched by a desire for God to ignite a change
Caught a rush of zeal from the life in my veins
|
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